My Favorite Haunts: Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters

Hello, humans. I’ve made a resolution to try to update my blog more often because I know you all can’t get enough of hearing what I have to say. To get started, I’m introducing a series of posts that I’m calling “My Favorite Haunts.” Obviously, I know the ins and outs of the parks better than a human ever could, and I have a long list of places where I like to spend my time. The first locale in Disneyland that I’m going to spotlight is:

Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters

Now, in case you haven’t put two and two together, the reason why Buzz Lightyear is such a mecca for Disneyland Cats comes down to two words: laser lights. If you think your pet feline goes nuts over one red dot, you should see how exciting it is to be surrounded by thousands.

It’s true, I have occasionally been known to knock over some of those little green men in an effort to leap toward my prey, and I won’t even tell you about the time I got stuck in that toy box with the lid that opens and shuts. I also may have a few dead mice stashed inside the volcano in case of emergency—but you didn’t hear that from me.

 I’m still unclear how exactly laser lights work, but I’m determine to capture and eat one someday. I bet they are truly delicious. In the meantime, however, I’ve probably burned off hundreds of calories racing around the track and attempting to pounce. It’s far more exercise than I ever actually intend to get, and I often pass out from exhaustion on top of Zurg’s head.

If I have one complaint about this attraction, it’s the fact that it’s almost impossible to shoot the laser gun without opposable thumbs. As a result, my scores when I actually try to ride are generally quite abysmal.